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Before He’s Just Not That Into You was a corny movie with star-studded actors and actresses, it was a corny book that I am apparently unashamed to tell the world I own. No matter how much this book can be critiqued – and it can and has been, mercilessly – I still think some of it is just flat-out honest reality. And yes, maybe that reality is subjective, culturally and generationally specific, and all the rest. But I did read the book again recently, which is five years from when I initially bought it, and ten years from its original publishing date. So in honor of ten years of the book being if not culturally relevant, at least rhetorically influential, I thought I’d review the given advice: 1. “He’s just not that into you If he’s not asking you out.” Now think of five of your own. (We know we took the easiest ones, but we still think there’s at least five more you can come up with.) 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. Read them, have a laugh, dump the cheater. Of course I can’t tell you what to do. But dump him.
This is What It Should Look Like, by Greg Don’t ask me how I know, because I don’t want to tell you, but I can assure you that my parents, who are in their seventies, after children, illnesses, aging, stressful jobs, and daily annoyances (read: life), are still having sex. If my parents can do it, so can you and your boyfriend. This book is dedicated to all the lovely ladies out there whose stories inspired us to write this book. May we never need to write another one. Our Super-Good Really Helpful Workbook Please write down how long it took you to start thinking that you might want to marry the guy you’re dating. Write down how long it took you to know for sure. Look and see if these seemed like a reasonably appropriate amount of time. Then tell yourself that he has no good excuse for not having figured that out by now too.Our Super-Good Really Helpful Workbook Hey, what’s a self-help tome without a workbook? Our chapters will all be so brave and wise that we want to make sure you retain as much of the brilliance as you can. So for all of you who feel the need to get out of your problems and into your crayon box, have at it. Love, Greg and Liz Remember in grade school how they told you not to write in your textbooks? Screw that! Grab a pen and list five reasons why you think you have every right or good reason to call him. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. Put the book aside and wait an hour. Or at least ten minutes. Then ask yourself: Do I seem pathetic? Do I sound like someone who doesn’t trust my own innate hotness? Yes, you do! Now put your dialing finger away, get out of the house, and go find some fun. P.S.: You just did a workbook exercise about a guy who hasn’t even extended to you the energy of a phone call. Why would you want to chase that down? Sometimes I really despise being part of a time and in a culture that is losing the ability to date – and face it, we are. But it’s really hard to tell if someone is into you if the entire cultural approach to dating has turned on its head. So maybe the guy who texts you vehemently on Friday night who is clearly under liquid courage is doing so because he doesn’t know any better (but he is really into you). Or maybe he’s doing so because it’s a booty call. One thing is for sure, in this day and age, any person who says they want to go on an actual, real-life date with you, is definitely into you. 4. “He’s just not that into you if he’s not having sex with you.”
FROM THE DESK OF GREG Dear Starved for Affection, Have to say, little suspicious of someone who doesn’t like one of the greatest pleasures on earth. What else does he not like that you don’t know about yet? Puppies? Babies? Having a soul? And if you like being affectionate for all the obvious reasons, then why would you want to doom yourself to a no-touching zone with Mr. Uncomfortable? Yes, some men have a hard time being physically affectionate, but actually not enjoying it? It’s difficult to fathom. He may be really into you, but he’s certainly not really compatible with you. I say move on, meet someone who enjoys the things you like, and have a long life filled with playful grab-ass. You will meet people who don’t like to be touched, or kissed, or who don’t like sex. You can spend a lot of time trying to fix them, or wondering if you should take it personally. Or you can realize that they simply don’t like to do the things you find absolutely essential to your enjoyment of life, and then go find yourself someone who does.IF YOU DON’T BELIEVE GREG A friend of mine was on a first date with a woman who mentioned she was also dating a married man. He immediately told her there wouldn’t be a second date, because if she didn’t like herself enough to be in a proper relationship, why should he? He’s Just Not That Into You - If He’s Not Dating You “Hanging Out” is Not Dating Oh, there seem to be so many variations to dating, particularly in the early stages of a relationship. So many gray, murky areas of vagueness, mystery, and no questions asked. Dudes love this time because that’s when they get to pretend they’re not really dating you. Then they also get to pretend they’re not really responsible for your feelings. When you ask someone out on a real bonafide date, you’re making it official: I’d like to see you alone to find out if we have a romantic future together (or at least pretend to listen to you while I ponder whether you’re wearing a thong). In case you need more clues: There’s usually a public excursion, a meal, and some hand-holding involved.
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